Rough Draft

I'm here without you, baby.
But you're still on my lonely mind.
I think about you, baby.
And I dream about you all the time.

Got home past midnight and faced plenty of music once I managed to cross the sacred door after ten minutes being locked out in the dark and cold. Hell, I'm bringing a key next time.

Mum pretty much banned every thing she could. No, was what summed up her entire opinion on my leaving the house for anything, including any church activity. Okay, what hurted was that I was faced with the prospect of not attending POS training after the great fun I had today over at Bryant's house.

Man, I received plenty of hugs today. Thanks guys, I'm starting to feel like I love this more and more.

Thank you so much, Steph & Bryant & Nicky & Junle. <3

Training wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I dropped by Bryant's house. It was burning inside, and I wouldn't be surprised if someone had called for the fire department. Dance was awful, not the dance itself but the confined space and the extreme stuffiness. Thank God for the fan, or we'd have died right there and then. Some silent conlicts took place but hey, everyone still loves one another. C'mon, we're a cluster, no hard feelings. (: Okay, heck about these mushy feelings of mine about the cluster, I'm being over-expressive. And we didn't do any stunts today. Sarah couldn't come before her cell group, credit to the costumes delivery man she told me about. So we waited for her in the house. Had a heart to heart chat with Steph, Junle and Nicholas. Damn, I love them. (: Okay, pardon me. Oh yes, I love Bryant too, lest he comes after me with boxing gloves. :D And yeah, so we talked and talked. And then we had some men's conversation between Nick and Bryant, haha. Stopped by the hawker sentence for some fried sotong mee before rushing home to face total annihilation.

And so, after much praying, I manage to go for cell today. Played the guitar and yeah, went on smoothly even though I practised for only around thirty minutes. Cell group's going through a bad patch currently, like Junle said, I'm in a dilemma over what to do. I'm facing three paths for tomorrow, I'm stuck.

Okay, so here I am, blogging over the week's events. I'm gonna start on my chinese revision which would take the most, an hour. Really, there's nothing to learn.

I'm neglecting plenty of stuff, I've realise. I promise to get back on track okay? I just need time to sort everything out.

Just a matter of days before we leave on seperate paths.
But how I long for it to be similar.

And tonight, girl,
It's only you and me.

Loving you isn't really something I should do,
Shouldn't wanna spend my time with you.
Well, I should try to be strong
But, baby, you're the right kind of wrong.

hansheng went to school today,
hansheng went to pos!

flew sarah estimated five times for arabesque and it was horrible, was all the flyer's fault. )x

and hansheng says vanessa is very light and she's his dancing partner,
and he can go and fly her because he doesnt want to fly sarah, and so doesn't jeffrey. because they both can't stand flying sarah.

):

and he came home and now he's sprawled on his bed underneath the covers talking on the phone.(:

bye everyone! this is has been _ _ _ _ _.

I miss you like crazy,
Even more than words could say.
I miss you like crazy,
Every minute of every day.

I got into essay writing finals! Oh man, oh man. I love anna! She's the best cell group leader, ever! I'll let you in on everything soon, okay? Thank you for being the greatest!

Other than that major pleasing news, my results were a disappointment. I failed overall, my first in my entire school life. Strangely, I don't feel anything. Maybe it could be that I achieve what everyone thought I could achieve, that it is no surprise that I could actually fail my mid-years. Well yeah, here you go, I just did.

Chinese 'O' Levels are just less than a week away. Honestly, there isn't much to prepare. Get my Paper 1 facts right and I'm done with preparations. :D

And school's never been boring-er.

The rumours and gossip are speading fast, on a large-scale. But that's how it works in life.

Warm and fuzzy feeling within. You know how I feel. (:

Sarah: Aye aye, captain. (:

I loved this weekend. And everyone else's company.
And yes, especially yours.

Sarah! I'll blog about the last two days and you'll get your SPECIAL MENTION soooon. See you tomorrow, and I'll be there always, so don't you worry. (:

And yeah, today's gonna go down in history as one of the best days of my life.

I'll update more tomorrow, I wanna talk to you! (:

I've never felt this way before. I need a break.

I haven't got the faintest idea what to do in this situation.

And for now, other than the constant thoughts of you, I've got only me and my guitar.

Oh, won't you leave.

First things first.

Happy Birthday, Deborah! (:
Thank you for guiding me and Junle in stunts, and for the company of your elmo! I haven't got much to say, but yeah, have a sweet fifteen! (:
P.S. Rascal Flatts! Look at the lyrics above!

Okay, today was boring like hell, and intensive chinese is the boring-est stuff I've ever come across. And after that, met up with Jeff and Junle and we went for POS where we learnt more stunts as well as received a fair share of scoldings. (x Thankfully, there wasn't any dance to make a fool outta myself. Went for dinner at Mos Burger and other than Junle, my only company was Elmo. (: Talked for quite a bit with Junle on the way back, and touched on some minor issues of life. :D

As the days go by, I see more and more of the fake side of life. Pretty saddening, it is, but it can't be helped.

The next four days are gonna be a bore. I've no idea how to squeeze in enough rest and time for the Champions League Final, POS trainings, soccer matches, 4.8km cross-country run, intensive chinese and more shit from the school. Plus, the team is so undecided that I've major doubts about Saturday. I might as well go there, raise up my hands, and proceed to Ngee Ann to play some relaxing soccer.

Oh well. (:

For some reason, I didn't think today's service is as good as the previous one. Namely because Pastor Phil just gave a 15 minute message, though powerful, but still, lacked some content. But I like the offering message he gave because one, it was the longest I've ever heard and two, I was trying my darnest best to understand what he was talking about cause it was so profound. And lunch was strangely quiet and lonesome. Few people came for it. ):

And looking at the team before sports fiesta, Karjun can't play, and that indian guy in my neighbourhood hasn't given me a reply yet. But that's not all, tomorrow would be the day when most of the results would be handed in and though I trust in the Lord, the wrong answers I handed up most probably wouldn't change. I'm really afraid. Afraid of those really low marks, and afraid of my parents' disappointment. I can't face tomorrow like a man, I just can't. Sigh. Like they say, no man's perfect. And no man's fearless.

A tag from Qixin required me to do a simple task. Okay, not so simple. Since it's mother's day, and she's sorta like my 'mum', I've no choice but to do it. (x

Okay, so here goes. Eight points of a lover. Loving? Short. And maybe, a ponytail. That's three. More of a high class taste, be in sports, and a certain level of self-confidence. Uh, whines sometimes, and maybe a little overprotective?

There. I don't know actually, I don't like talking about such stuff. Invites gossip really easily but just for my 'mother'. There you are, Qixin!

Anyway, I've set my sights on learning two songs from The Calling, one of them that I totally loveeee. I'm putting my worship songs on a hold, heh. (: And I think this post is dumb. I can't think of much to write. Maybe it's the prospect of facing tomorrow's traumas. Maybe not. I need rest. Badly.

Eve: Haha, you appear very randomly, you know that? (: Yeah, I read your blog. Over the hedge with you and Ethel! Love you too. <3

Hello Nicolette, hello Sandy! And hello, Qixin! (:

And this is to Fiona. Hello! Though you won't be coming online that soon now, cheer up about today's events. And good luck for your exams. (:

And before I go, here's wishing all mothers...

Happy Mother's Day!

And to my mum (who just came in and lectured me :D),

I LOVE YOU!

Ah, tons of things happened over the week. There's a wish to type every single detail down, but then again, there's this thing in my head that render it impossible. I'm not very good at remembering things, haha. :D

So, let's see. I watched Mission Impossible 3 with a couple of my friends after exams and damn, was it good. Much like how Beitris and Eve stated, that orange lamborghini is major HOT. Mineee. :D I think we played lan too, I don't know. And oh, I've got a earhole out of curiousity about how it feels and how it'd look like. Went to gym with Junle and I was thinking hey, I ain't feeling any strain that comes along with lifting weights and everything when the next day, the ache nearly paralysed me. And argh, been spending hell lot of cash these days, mainly due to post-exams activities plus birthday's gifts!

Speaking of birthdays...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANITA & BEEKUAN & EVANGELINE!

Went bugis with Carey, Karen and Donovan to shop around for gifts. We walked and walked and walked and couldn't decide what we wanted. So at last, we went over to Bugis Street and got the gifts for Anita and Beekuan, as well as for Evan. (I hope you liked it, cause it's like not really expensive or high class) After which, we decided to drop by Plaza Singapura to pass Anita the gifts when suddenly, an unknown number called. I picked up and gasp!, it was of all people... Jacqueline! And so, I was summoned over to Expo before 6.30 just because she needed company desperately and how my name appeared under her list of people who can entertain her would remain a myster forever. Haha, but other than holding her bag and listening to hiphop bands from her mp3, she's pretty fun to talk to. (: Okay, so uh, some drama unfolded over the booking of seats and war nearly broke out. I'm amazed how some people in church can be so unreasonable. But ah, you can't please anyone.

Pastor Phil Pringle is one of the best pastors aorund with a sense of humor. I loved him the minute he appeared, and he's just so amazing. Pity that halfway through the message yesterday, my temperature shot up and I nearly died. Especially when we needed to stand up and pray for the church and stuff, I felt myself floating on air. Thank God I managed to reach home in one piece, cause looking back at my body condition yesterday, there's a chance I could faint and get knocked down by some car on the way back.

Watched Volcano High even when my temperature was as high as that of a volcano, maybe worse. (pun intended :D) Okay, it's a pretty good show, it's the strange plot that stands out. Couldn't take it anymore, and fell asleep the minute I hit the bed and woke up past twelve today. Thankfully, my temperature had dropped considerably and I can jump and walk now, hoho. (:

So thank you to everyone who asked about my condition. Yes, I'm alright, don't worry. I wouldn't die just yet. I still haven't got my very own lamborgini. :D

I totally screwed up.

This term has been disappointing, and I guess I have to admit it. I'm at fault.

I'm sorry, Mum. I'm sorry, Dad.

Okay, I'm really bored now. Four hours ago, I told myself I'm gonna study. Great. It's twelve now. I'm still stuck here, and probably longer.

The picture on my blog shrunk suddenly, that stupid duumb thing. Okay, it's still pretty, I know. (: Anyway, life's a major bore. I need entertainment but exams, argh. Anyway, I'm gonna start on a new project in my blog. To satisy my writing needs, I'm gonna come up with a composition every now and then and post it right here. (:

You can't please everyone in life, and certainly not yourself. It's weird, huh? Doesn't it seems that there are always critics in life? Hmm, through these past weeks, I've seen some accounts of other people's lives. I've realised, that the strongest of us has our own faults too, and no one else's actually perfect. Then again, it's those faults of us that made us who we are. It's just the angle of how you look at the way things/people are. Every single thing in life doesn't come cheaply. We have to take the goods with the bads. But it's only when we mould ourselves into stronger, hardened clay, do we prolong the good, and restrain the bad. One thing's for sure, the beauty of life lies in the way how the downside of life never stays the way it is. It's gonna flip up someday, and when it does, it stays upright.

The way I see it, we're always facing two paths all the time. The first is when we carry on writing when the ink spits and splutters, and the story sees no end. The second, when we start on a brand new page, a pen with ink overflowing, and a story that sees only a great beginning.

Your life, two paths. (:

Okay, I have to do something productive tonight. Geography's next on the menu. Ah, stress. Come Tuesday, you'll see me breaking the world record for high jump. Hoho. Okay, that's being over exagerrating. But yes, I'll be over the top. (:

Time to sleep. I mean, study. Yes, study.

I'm so gonna flunk chemistry. Today's paper went really badly, just as I expected, since my knowledge and insights on chemistry is practically non-existent. I went through as slow as I could, and just managed to complete the paper in 2 hours. And yes, I could not do HALF the paper. Ah, screw chemistry. I've gotta make sure I don't mess up my remaining papers. E-maths, and social studies were pretty average, though I don't have the slightest idea whether I actually did what I'm supposed to do, while english was just some boring paper with some boring comprehension. Blah.

I changed my blogskin again! I wanted to switch pictures, but the website to upload picture isn't working on me. ):

Went home, and found out I had to play 'One Way' for praise tomorrow. That made me rush to my computer and started to familiarise myself with the song. After which, I proceeded to the highlight of my day. POS- Parade of Schools.

My first actual impression of POS is actually not a good one, where I had to, dance?!, fling and catch people with the liabilty of causing injuries, as well as the prospect of embarassing myself in front of the people. But after enduring the long lessons and demostrations of dance moves and lectures, hey, POS is fun after all. Dance was pretty screwed up, I had never, ever dance before, and watching the pros made me feel largely inferior. Plus, I don't know much people there, and I just can't bring myself to hold onto the hips of a girl and lifting her up. What toes touch, 4 rolls, all these are like a different kind of language. Amazingly, I got through the entire lesson, and enjoyed it too. Now, to stunts. To be honest, I dreaded stunts A LOT. I was damn scared I don't have enough strength to lift the girl up okay. In the end, everything went not bad, just a little bit wobbly, and I need to buck up on my strength a little bit more. But once you get used to the whole entire procedure, it gets so much more fun. And there never is a lack of entertainment from the people there. I can bet my bottom dollar that no moments of silence lasts more than 5 seconds. Oh oh, the people there are amazing, especially some of the splits they do that made me go, woah!, and other advanced stunts that left me stunned on the spot. O.O

But overall, it was so much fun, and it took away much of the stress accumulated over the week due to exams. (:

Okay, it's 1am now, and I have to copy chords onto my notebook for tomorrow's cell. I wanna play worship. ): Oh, and I'm gonna do so much new stuff after exams. I wanna learn how to dance so that if ever I try to go clubbing, I would be able to blend in. I wanna try new drinks, and I wanna learn any other stuff I can pick up from anyone. And I wanna go to the gym, to tone up my body for POS. I realised and learnt from today, that condemning a particular activity before you try it is not a wise thing to do. Every activity has its own fun and risks, but that's how life is. You just have to try, and take the first step.

Right now, my next step would be the step leading to my comfy bed. (: